For the last month, my son Paul and I have been working through the complex and extensive paperwork associated with his father’s estate. Whether dealing with banks and investment firms, telephone and internet companies, government agencies, or anyone else, a key phrase is “I am sorry for your loss.” Sometimes this condolence is said with sincerity and compassion immediately after we inform them of a death in our family, but often any expression of sympathy seems to be an afterthought, arriving as long as half an hour into the discussion. I get the impression that public-facing managers are professionally trained to express condolences but some seem unclear on the concept.
I have been surprised at which companies were the most compassionate in their approach. My favorite response was from the Xfinity telecommunications company. The local Xfinity manager was remarkably supportive and kind. She said she too had recently experienced a death in her family, was sorry for what we were going through, and she was super-helpful in getting the account closed quickly. In contrast, the manager at the decedent’s primary bank was uninformed of bank procedures, tried to delay at every opportunity, and only said “I am sorry for your loss” at the end of an extensive and frustrating conversation. This was despite Paul being clearly listed as the “POD” (payable at death) account beneficiary. When we arrived back at the bank four days later for the first available appointment when he could help us, this bank manager’s boss came by and was much more supportive.
We have found that each organization seems to have different terms for dealing with death. Names for the death department so far include, “Estate Department,” “Estate Care Department,” “Life Events,” “Probate,” and “Wealth Transfer.” Such a strange reflection of how our culture reluctantly engages with a life event we will all experience in time.
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Caitlin and I are working with the six Lebanese STEM professionals to develop a technical project that will help find housing and resources for people recently displaced by the conflict in Lebanon. The team is developing this project to use their experience and skills to help their homeland during this difficult time. The team also has a group of professional and culturalTechWomen mentors supporting them. Some of our team is housed in San Francisco and some in the South Bay, so we have been meeting every few days on Zoom, plus a working dinner at my house. This weekend we are finishing up our pitch presentation for Monday’s TechWomen pitch day. We are very proud of them – wish us luck!
More about TechWomen from the Institute of International Education, “TechWomen empowers, connects and supports the next generation of women leaders in science, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM) from Africa, Central and South Asia, and the Middle East by providing them the access and opportunity needed to advance their careers, pursue their dreams, and inspire women and girls in their communities. Through mentorship and exchange, TechWomen strengthens participants’ professional capacity, increases mutual understanding between key networks of professionals, and expands girls’ interest in STEM careers by exposing them to female role models.”
8 October 2024: Here is a link to the inspiring 3 minute pitch that Team Lebanon gave yesterday about their “Hadak Lebnen” project to create a platform to support over a million recently displaced people in Lebanon.
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There have been many articles and videos recently about Swedish Death Cleaning, a process intended to remove clutter and save difficulties for your relations after your death. It was clear after my ex-husband Ben Goodman passed away about two weeks ago here in San Jose, California, that he was not a believer in this. I divorced Ben about thirty years ago but once you have children with someone, you will always be related. My son Paul and I have been taking care of Ben’s stuff since the early morning call came that he had died.
So far, Paul and I have notified the family, worked with the hospital and Neptune Society to manage Ben’s remains, set up his internment and memorial, cleaned out and closed out his apartment and one of his storage units, as well as notifying banks, medical, and governmental organizations to freeze his accounts. Going through Ben’s stuff has included finding bags of prescription medicines and sharps to be properly disposed of, food, clothes, and household items to be donated, as well as returning his hospital bed and wheelchair to Medicare. I have done two runs already to the CVS medication disposal site (where the boxes are now full), plus dropping off towels and blankets at San Jose animal shelter, and several trips to the Good Will donation site. Yesterday, the junk service picked up two full truckloads of well-used furniture, antique cables, monitors, phones, worn bedding, broken and dirty kitchen supplies, and other stuff we could not think of any other way to eliminate. Of course, Paul has separated out family keepsakes, photos, and financial records (since some actions have to wait for the Death Certificate to be prepared). We probably have another week of work ahead of us sorting out the paperwork now that it has (mostly) been disentangled from the junk.
We still need to sell Ben’s guns (fortunately all trigger locked), dispose of bottles of motor oil, and donate his old glasses to the Lions Club. We are grateful to have been supported by my husband John and several Task Rabbit freelance laborers who have helped us bag and move stuff. All of these required duties are entirely aside from dealing with our complex feelings about Ben’s death. Your prayers are welcome during this stressful time.
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The Susan Broaddus Memorial Scholarship Fund was established in 2023 for women students at the Université Anglicane du Congo (Anglican University of Congo) in Bunia, Democratic Republic of the Congo. It is an initiative of the Episcopal and Anglican Churches and their international Congo Network, for which I have had the honor of being the Secretary since 2015. The Rev. Dr. Daniel Karanja (Africa Partnership Officer, Episcopal Church) chairs the Congo Network. Episcopal Bishop Susan B. Haynes of the Diocese of Southern Virginia sponsors the Susan Broaddus Memorial Scholarship in the USA. The Rev. Dr. Kahwa Njojo, Dean of the Faculty of Theology at the Anglican University in Bunia, and recently elected elected Bishop of the Anglican Diocese of Kalemi, sponsors the Broaddus Fund in the DRC.
In the 2024-2025 term, the Broaddus Fund will support two students studying Theology at the Anglican University in Bunia. The Broaddus Fund committee is honored to support these capable and inspiring women of the church as inaugural Broaddus Scholars. The Broaddus Scholars are committed to following the model of Susan Broaddus, a faithful member of the Congo Network who died in 2021 after a lifetime of faithful activism and lay leadership, including twelve years as an Episcopalian missionary in the Congo. Susan’s outstanding and inspiring contributions developed the role of women leaders and educational programs, especially at theUniversité Anglicane du Congo.
Since the death of Susan Broaddus, the Congo Network has worked to honor her legacy of education and advocacy. The Broaddus Fund committee has developed a governance plan and process, established a partnership with Episcopal Bishop Susan B. Haynes of the Diocese of Southern Virginia, collected funds for the first two Broaddus Scholars, announced the scholarship, collected and reviewed applications, and approved the inaugural honorees.
If you would like to support women in church leadership in the Congo, consider a donation to the Susan Broaddus Memorial Fund.
For those who speak French, here is the information in that language, thanks to FRÉDÉRIC (FRED) SPITZ, Congo Network member, and Episcopal Church Global Relations and Networking Officer,
Le fonds de la bourse d’études à la mémoire de Susan Broaddus
Le fonds de la bourse d’études à la mémoire de Susan Broaddus a été créé en 2023 pour des étudiantes de l’Université Anglicane du Congo à Bunia, en République démocratique du Congo. Il s’agit d’une initiative menée par des Églises épiscopales et anglicanes et de leur réseau international pour le Congo, dont j’ai l’honneur d’être la secrétaire générale depuis 2015. Le Révérend Dr Daniel Karanja (responsable du partenariat avec l’Afrique pour l’Église épiscopale) préside le réseau Congo. L’évêque épiscopale Susan B. Haynes du diocèse de Virginie du Sud parraine la bourse Susan Broaddus aux États-Unis. Le Révérend Dr Kahwa Njojo, doyen de la faculté de théologie de l’université anglicane de Bunia et récemment élu évêque du diocèse anglican de Kalemie, parraine la bourse d’études Susan Broaddus en RDC.
Au cours de la période 2024-2025, cette bourse d’études soutiendra deux étudiantes en théologie à l’Université anglicane de Bunia. Le comité de la bourse d’étude est honoré de soutenir ces femmes de l’Église, compétentes et inspirantes, en tant que premières lauréates de la bourse. Ces boursières s’engagent à suivre l’exemple de Susan Broaddus, membre fidèle du Réseau Congo, décédée en 2021 après une vie d’activisme fidèle et de direction laïque, y compris douze ans en tant que missionnaire épiscopale au Congo. Les contributions exceptionnelles et inspirantes de Susan ont développé le rôle des femmes leaders et les programmes éducatifs, en particulier à l’Université Anglicane du Congo.
Depuis le décès de Susan Broaddus, le Réseau Congo s’est efforcé d’honorer son héritage en matière d’éducation et de promotion. Le comité de la bourse Susan Broaddus a développé un plan et un processus de gouvernance. Il a établi un partenariat avec l’évêque épiscopale Susan B. Haynes du diocèse de Virginie du Sud et il a collecté des fonds pour les deux premières boursières Susan Broaddus. Le comité a fait la promotion de la bourse, a collecté et examiné les candidatures, puis a approuvé les premières lauréates.
You may have noticed a gap in my Katysblog posts in 2024. I was spending my time writing my doctoral dissertation, traveling to Africa, and visiting with my fascinating grandbaby, Alex.
This week, I turned my 123 page dissertation over to my committee for review. Hooray! Since 2021, I have been a Doctor of Ministry student at the Berkeley School of Theology. BST’s DMin degree is based on a project that comes out of the student’s regular work. My project was to rewrite The Transforming Literature of the Bible (TLB) class I present weekly in Santa Clara County jail. The current TLB text is about 300 pages long. The next step toward my degree is for my committee to read the dissertation and give comments. I then get to defend it. All of this should be done before 2025 (God willing and the creek don’t rise).
Here is my DMin dissertation abstract,
The Transforming Literature of the Bible scripture study and theological reflection program (TLB) provides faith-based study materials tailored to county jail inmate interests and challenges in a welcoming setting with the intention of reducing some of their disadvantages and support them in their goal to stay out of jail in the future. This project revised the 2018 TLB with a focus on supporting three groups of disadvantaged and often isolated inmates. The groups are those who are primarily-Spanish language speakers (mostly Latinx inmates who make up the majority of inmates in Santa Clara County, California), those who have reading difficulties,and those with mental health challenges. The high-level results of this project are, the TLB page count was cut in half, an image was added to each session (or chapter) with a process for theological reflection using that image as a focus, and a Spanish language translation of the TLB was developed. Mental health topics are presented in several TLB sessions in a way intended to encourage discussion without embarrassment. In response to a series of surveys of inmates and seminar observers in 2023–2024, 99% rated TLB as Excellent and overall satisfaction and 98% of inmates said that they would recommend the class. 92% of inmates said that it was important that TLB be presented in both English and Spanish and 98% said that the machine translations of TLB were of high quality and readability. This dissertation presents information on the TLB project and its methodology, background on incarceration, an analysis of the theological and biblical context for the TLB and this project, and detailed research results.
Wish me luck!
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Getting to Nigeria is painful. Visas are exceptionally difficult and frustrating to secure and after many months of effort, I only received mine the day before I left. However, once in Nigeria, people are welcoming and generous and there is much to do and learn. I learned that we arrived in Nigeria at a difficult time when fuel prices were very high so I was grateful that the inspiring TechWomen Fellows were able to drive us or find drivers for us to get around. I am grateful that the dedicated and persistent Fellows were able to put together our presentations and visits despite these hardships. I would love to visit them again to see more of their amazing country.
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Cameroon Reunification Monument and Statue, Yaoundé, February 2024
I was honored to be part of the February – March 2024 TechWomen Delegation to Cameroon. TechWomen is an initiative of the U.S. Department of State’s Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs. I helped design this mentoring program in 2010-2011, so it is very important to me. I have been on over a dozen delegations since 2012 but this was my first trip to Cameroon. Seena Shankar (Marvell Director) and I traveled to Cameroon together by way of Istanbul. We had enough time for a brief tour of that remarkable city before meeting up with the rest of the TechWomen mentors, Fellows, and TechGirls in the capital of Yaoundé, Cameroon. During our Cameroon week in Yaoundé and Douala, we gave presentations and met many dozens of inspiring STEM women and girls.
My favorite day was when the delegation gave presentations and joined community discussions about environmental sustainability. I gave a lightning talk on Community Waste Management. While trash and air pollution were very apparent, it was also clear that Cameroon is actively working to resolve these difficult problems. I was delighted to be able to visit the Tassah Academy founded by my long-term TechWomen colleague, Janet Bih. She and I have collaborated since she joined TechWomen in 2013 but unfortunately, while I was visiting her school in Cameroon, Janet was in the USA defending her doctoral dissertation at the University of Maryland.
It was a joy to travel with and learn from the TechWomen mentors and Fellows. I am very grateful for the remarkably generous hospitality of the Fellows in Cameroon, particularly Germaine Ashu, who did everything she could to help me get a visa to Nigeria. Our delegation traveled with one particularly determined TechGirl, Britney Moukoko, whom I am glad to write has continued our conversations since my return home.
Since I was in Central Africa for this delegation, I made a side trip to visit the TechWomen Fellows in Nigeria. My complex route to see everyone was, San Francisco – Istanbul – Yaoundé – Douala – Lomé, Togo – Douala – Istanbul – San Francisco. Quite a trip!
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