There have been many articles and videos recently about Swedish Death Cleaning, a process intended to remove clutter and save difficulties for your relations after your death. It was clear after my ex-husband Ben Goodman passed away about two weeks ago here in San Jose, California, that he was not a believer in this. I divorced Ben about thirty years ago but once you have children with someone, you will always be related. My son Paul and I have been taking care of Ben’s stuff since the early morning call came that he had died.
So far, Paul and I have notified the family, worked with the hospital and Neptune Society to manage Ben’s remains, set up his internment and memorial, cleaned out and closed out his apartment and one of his storage units, as well as notifying banks, medical, and governmental organizations to freeze his accounts. Going through Ben’s stuff has included finding bags of prescription medicines and sharps to be properly disposed of, food, clothes, and household items to be donated, as well as returning his hospital bed and wheelchair to Medicare. I have done two runs already to the CVS medication disposal site (where the boxes are now full), plus dropping off towels and blankets at San Jose animal shelter, and several trips to the Good Will donation site. Yesterday, the junk service picked up two full truckloads of well-used furniture, antique cables, monitors, phones, worn bedding, broken and dirty kitchen supplies, and other stuff we could not think of any other way to eliminate. Of course, Paul has separated out family keepsakes, photos, and financial records (since some actions have to wait for the Death Certificate to be prepared). We probably have another week of work ahead of us sorting out the paperwork now that it has (mostly) been disentangled from the junk.
We still need to sell Ben’s guns (fortunately all trigger locked), dispose of bottles of motor oil, and donate his old glasses to the Lions Club. We are grateful to have been supported by my husband John and several Task Rabbit freelance laborers who have helped us bag and move stuff. All of these required duties are entirely aside from dealing with our complex feelings about Ben’s death. Your prayers are welcome during this stressful time.
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