Category Archives: Home & Family

Terra Cotta Warrior from Xian

My husband John and I took a joint
three week business trip to China in April and May
this year. We went to the Sun China Engineering and Research Institute on
the campus of Tsinghua University in Beijing. I was there to recruit participants
for the SEED Engineering mentoring program and John was there to talk with the
Engineering staff about Sun’s ARCs (Architectural Review Committees).

On one of the weekends, we flew to Xian to see the terra cotta warriors.
We made the mistake of going during the Chinese Labor holiday so it was
very very crowded. The archaeological site is an hour’s drive from the city of
Xian. Xian has some lovely old buildings and a big city wall. The night before
we went to see the site, we walked through the hot streets of Xian.
The city park was full of teens and little kids roller skating. The
Science and Technology museum was closed but we could see painted figures on the
windows: a local version of
NASA’s Pioneer space plaque
. The differences were that the figures on the
window in Xian wore underwear and were Chinese in facial feature.

Outside of the city, the countryside has scattered brick houses and walls with
many neat piles of sticks, tiles, and bricks around. Some of the walls and
shacks are dry-laid brick, others use mortar. There are tiny towns with small fruit
tree orchards and grain fields between. Brick outhouses stand between the road and
the homes. All the space is thoroughly used with old and new jumbled together.
You can see the stacks of what looks like a nuclear power plant past the farms
and muledrawn cart and bicycles on the road. As we drove closer to the Qin Army Vaults,
there were factories, some with rows of terra cotta warriors for sale in front.

We spent about three hours visiting the 2000-year-old
tomb itself. We mostly had to squeeze around the tours because the tour guides
would take up a position in front of their group at the rail over the pit and talk
for a very very long time. This meant that no one else could see what was below.
There are four buildings: 3 covered pits and one museum. Visitors get from one to
another using a credit-card-like ticket (from Xian Typical Brother Industries Co., Ltd.).
The pit earth is yellow brown and seeing the clay faces and bodies standing or lying on
top in their orderly rows is awesome. The bodies are strangely perportioned: the
trunks seem too long and the legs too short on the men. The horses have full size heads
and 3/4 size bodies and no tails. On the warriors, there are slight facial differences
from man to man, particularly when comparing the rarer figures and officers.

The museum room displaying the two small bronze chariots was absolutely packed with
people around the central glass cases but as usual in China everyone
seemed calm and good tempered. There was little elbowing and grouching. Kids were
protected from the crowd and everyone looked to be enjoying themselves even in the hot airless crush. Most of the tourists at the site seemed to be Chinese nationals rather
than foreign tourists. It was like visiting Washington DC where Americans go to be
proud of their heritage rather than just gawk at the sights.

John and I knew before the trip that we wanted to buy a full-size terra cotta warrior
copy while we were in China. I have wanted one for my garden ever since my Mother
visited China for the first time ten years ago. We had gone shopping at http://www.terracottawarriors.com/
so we knew what was available in the USA. Bargaining in China seems as much
interactive theater as
commerce. It took four hours at two different factories to make a deal everyone
liked. We tore up two sets of contracts along the way as part of the discussions
of what, where, how much, and how to pay. We had some advantage because the
http://www.terracottawarriors.com/
web site is blocked from viewing in China so the Xian salesmen did not know their
competition’s prices. After very hard bargaining, we bought two figures in dark
grey clay – like this original:

kneeling archer
. One archer is for us and the other for my parents.

Last week, I got email from the Xian shipping company that two boxes are coming
in. Our warriors are in Los Angeles now, headed for Oakland, California. We will
borrow a truck and some hefty friends to pick them up when they arrive.

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Guadalupe Opossum

We accidently caught a half-grown opossum in our feral cat trap last night. This is the second time we have caught this same guy and he was not happy about it. He caught his jaw in the cage mesh and John had to drive him to the Wildlife Center of Silicon Valley to get detached. They don’t open until 10 a.m. so John actually had to drive there twice. When he released the opossum back on the Guadalupe River bank, the opossum waddled off a few steps, then turned around to glare and hiss angrily at John, then waddled a few more steps and turned to glare and hiss again before disappearing under the dracenas.

John went back to the truck to take out the tarp he had put under the cat trap and found a large, scared alligator lizard hiding in the corner. Apparently, the lizard had been hiding in the tarp before it went into the truck and had been stuck under an angry opossum since then.

Nobody had a good morning: the opossum was mad at being trapped and driven all over, the lizard was frightened by the opossum and the truck, and John was late to work.

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Feral Cats on the Guadalupe River

Our yard has recently become the home of a small colony of feral cats. It started with one mostly-white calico female and then of course she had babies… We have always had indoor cats of our own. The residents for many years now are Garbo and Valentino, two grey fur persons whom we love. We adopted them many years ago from a road stop at Donner Pass where they had been abandoned as kittens. Now, dealing with this small furry invasion to our yard has caused a crisis of sorts. The little cat poops on the lawn, cats digging in my flower pots, cat fur on our porch chairs, the white flashes of fur scrambling to get away as I round the corner are all new and unwelcome additions to daily life.

We first called the local San Jose Animal Services and at their recommendation we rented a humane trap. The idea was to catch the kittens so that they could be put up for adoption. We also hoped to catch Mama Cat so that she could be spayed and vaccinated and returned to defend her territory. We have learned a great deal since then!

It turns out that the Guadalupe River may have water in it but it is really a river of cats moving around San Jose. Also, this is kitten season. Also, the animal agencies and societies run out of money at this time of year and there is a 2 week waiting period to fix ferals. (Who ever heard of holding onto a feral cat for 2 weeks to wait for an appointment?) The reality is that if you take kittens in to an agency at this time of year, they almost certainly get killed. There are just too many tame and healthy cats available to adopt.

We have talked with (or tried to contact) many organizations: Pets in Need, Fix Our Ferals, Silicon Valley Friends of Ferals, the Peninsula Humane Society, and Itty Bitty Orphan Kitty Rescue, among others. The most helpful was Itty Bitty Orphan Kitty Rescue and Silicon Valley Friends of Ferals. Some offered good timely advice. Many don’t respond to email or voice mail. We have trapped 5 kittens and 1 adult (not the mother) and taken them in. Yesterday, we drove about 80 miles round trip before work to the only organization we could find that would take feral cats in right away. Most of the kittens were sick and underweight and the adult was too sick to spay – they said she would not survive anesthesia. Probably all are dead now. It is sad and very discouraging.

We still hope to be able to have one or two healthy-and-unfertile feral cats as permanent residents on our bank of the river but this is harder to arrange than we thought.

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Parlor Screen

My mother has been distributing some of her larger family
furniture to my brothers and me. Last weekend, I brought home
a parlor screen painted in the mid-1800s. It would have originally
been used to shield someone from drafts. It has 3 sections hinged
together; each being about 54″x20″. The frame is made of
some dark fruit wood mounted with paintings on canvas panels.

The six paintings are by my ancestress Mary Esperandieu who came to
Knoxville, Tennessee USA in 1840 from Vevey, Switzerland. The panels tell
the story of her move to what was a lovely but relatively
primitive new country. She came to America as a young woman with her family.
Her father, Reverend Frederick Esperandieu, was a Huguenot (French protestant)
minister and teacher.

One screen panel shows a woman in white waving a hankerchief
goodbye to Lake Leman (Lake Geneva) and the Swiss mountains. Another shows
a tiny church in a field of wildflowers with hills behind. There are panels
showing lilac and sunflowers and another showing the dogwood native to the
Knoxville area. A very different panel is of a lively snow play scene with
children on sleds, a horse drawn sleigh, and a mansion in the background. This
is probably out of Mary Esperandieu’s childhood memories.

The paintings are in a Grandma Moses primitive style. My mother says this is
one of several family screens she inherited and is restoring. When she got this one,
the paintings were all crumpled up and in very bad shape. She remounted them
on new canvas with rabbit skin glue and tacked them back on the old screen frame.

Rev Frederick Esperandieu ran a French-English bilingual school in Knoxville. Both
he and his sons fought for the Confederacy during the Civil War.
Mary Esperandieu eventually married Edward Bolli. My brother Mark has her diary from
the crossing to America, including the sad story of the death of her Mother’s new baby
at sea. My cousin Rip has Mary Esperandieu Bolli’s diary from the time of the Civil War.
In it is her story of telling the soldiers who came to take her chickens that they were
no gentlemen. They slunk away ashamed.

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High School Summer Internship

My daughter took her last final yesterday. Tomorrow I take a vacation day
so that her girls’ choir at Harker can come over for an end-of-year swim party.
Today, she and I took a few hours to practice taking CalTrain and BART trains
to San Francisco from San Jose. Jessica has a part-time unpaid summer internship
at the EFF – Electronic Frontier Foundation –
which starts Monday. She is very excited to be working in an area she cares a
great deal about. EFF is in San Francisco’s Mission district so we needed to try out
the public transit route to be sure she knew where to go, what it cost, and how long
it took.

We had been advised that the 16th & Mission BART station was a little “colorful” so
we got off at 24th & Mission. We walked to EFF then wandered around the neighborhood.
Jessica and I ate some pastry at a paneteria, did some shopping (3 formal dresses
for $20 at Thrift Town), then I participated in a work conference call on my cell phone
while sitting on the BART station plaza bricks in the sun among the pigeons.
After the call, we ate lunch at a taqueria featuring a delightful mural of the Virgen
de Guadalupe on the wall, and took the train home. It was a good trip and I think
Jessica feels more sure of her way.

My own summer intern started on Monday. Shilpam will be supporting the SEED program
between her Harker high school graduation and starting as a Freshman at Cal Berkeley.
She was our intern last summer too and did a fine job.

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Letter from my Grandmother

Here is a letter written around 1943 by my Grandmother which I think is worth passing along. My Grandmother died at age 85 in 1990 and my Mother found this draft of a letter to a magazine editor when she was sorting estate papers. My Mother is the 12-year-old mentioned in the letter. Within a year of this letter being written, my Grandmother had her fourth and last child, a girl. My Grandmother was a homemaker and a poet (sometimes published in local newspapers and little magazines). The four children turned out to be an artist and Professor at California College of Arts & Crafts, an executive Vice President at American Express, a lawyer, and a grade school teacher. There were nine grandchildren and (so far) six great-grandchildren. So, her child rearing ideas worked well.


Dear Dr. Wood-Comstock,

In the August issue of “Life and Health” a letter was published about a four year old girl, and I am writing hoping that you will forward this letter to the parents, for I believe I can understand something of the problem. I have a little boy, now four, and a boy and girl, now eleven and twelve. The girl is a year older and we went through that three and four year old stage (and five and six) when friction between the two was of course irritating to the family, but never-the-less only natural. After all, children of three and four are little more than babies and should not be expected to act like grown ups. Certainly whipping is not the way to meet the problem for any temporary “making them behave for half a day” is far outweighed by the permanent harm it will do in warping a child’s nature – making her feel unloved, resentful toward parents and brother, creating a nervous tension in the home which will mose certainly react upon a child’s nervous system.

Naturally children cannot be allowed to make a habit of kicking and hair pulling but there are ways to end this – and I do not mean “mental cruelty”. With a great deal of love, patience, and understanding of the children’s points of view, a parent can usually iron out the difficulties. Often little children who are together constantly grow very tired of each other, and having them play in separate rooms for a while each day helps matters. Sometimes quarrels arise when both are tired, or hungry, or hot. I found that in such a case a warm bath with time to play in the water
with a toy or two would sooth both their tempers. Lack of something to do may cause quarreling and parents are well rewarded for helping their children plan their play. Busy with making a block city, or an indian wigwam out of an old quilt and a chair, or a doll tea party, or a parade of toys, children can be happy and well behaved for hours. Of course they are going to both want the same toy at times and of course they will argue sometimes – but that is human nature. Even adults are not always perfectly cheerful and pleasant at all times. I do not think that these small quarrels should be taken too seriously – every parent with two or more children can expect them. Parents can “talk things over” even with small children, explaining that they must try to get along well with each other, that they
must not fight and fuss and they will respond much better than to a whipping. To tell a child that she is “born that way” with a bad disposition is to firmly fix the idea in her mind and she will probably live up to it. To realize that when little brother was born she felt (as all children) that her place was taken by another – and to give her an extra show of affection is to win her love and cooperation now and in later years as well.

When my children were small my husband said he did not ever want his children to associate him with punishment when he came home at night. He had to be away from them at work all day and the time that he saw the children at night he wanted to be a pleasant time for them and for him. His own father had been one who punished him severely and often and even now, as a grown man he feels resentful toward his father. My children love their father, they respect him and will do anything he tells them to do, but he has never once whipped or even slapped any one of them. It seems rather hard to imagine a father who realy has the welfare of the children at heart severely whipping a little child of three or four unless he himself has a pretty ungovernable temper.

We have tried to have the children understand that there are certain things which are right and certain things wrong, and that the rules laid down for not doing some things are made for their benefit. They cannot play in the street, they must respect other people’s property and rights, they must go to bed at a certain time, etc. There are not too many of these hard and fast rules but the children know they are important. For the rest we do not give too many orders and are not too strict about every small matter. A parent can make an issue of things a dozen times a day and the constant friction wears on the nerves of both child and parent. Perfect behavior is too much to expect.

As children grow older new problems arise, and it seems to me that if parents are to have their children’s love and confidence and cooperation in the trying adolescent years they must win that love and confidence in the years of early childhood. Children need to feel they are loved, that their parents are wholeheartedly interested in each of them. They will, I believe, respond with good behavior.

All three of our children are high spirited with wills of their own and pretty dictatorial natures. I would not want them to be otherwise for these qualities, properly controlled by the individual person, make for leadership in adult life. In learning to get along with each other, and to conform to the family group, they are learning self control and how to get along with other people.

Letter by Evelyn Van Gilder Creekmore, Knoxville, Tennessee USA, 1943


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Music Says it Simply

My daughter Jessica is preparing for her music teacher’s end-of-year
recital on Sunday. Dina Mirskaya has Jessica singing Durante’s “Danza, Danza”,
Webber’s “Close Every Door”, and a duet with Nina of Lehar’s
“Music Says it Simply”. Jessica’s vocal range is moving lower – she can
now sing either Soprano two or Alto comfortably – so Nina’s higher voice gets
her the girl’s part while Jessica sings for the boy. Since they will both wear
evening gowns, this will be interesting. Jessica says that Soprano ones
get most of the good parts.

Today is also the first day of finals at Harker. Jessica took her Latin exam
this morning. We are putting together Jessica’s performance outfit at the same time
as she is discussing Victorian romantic
poetry (for Honors English), and preparing for tests in Chemistry and Geometry.
She already took the European History advanced placement exam and choir does not
have a final test.

My son Paul does not have finals so today his 7th grade class is off at the Raging
Waters water theme park for their end of year party. All he has to finish
this last week is collecting money pledges for the countries he named and located
in Mr. La Sala’s Geography-a-thon to benefit
Heifer Project
. I think Paul made over $100. The 7th grade wants to collect
over $5000 to donate enough for two “arks” worth of animals.

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